Everybody has their story. Okay, cool, let the straight ones be told in the streets. But have you ever considered what happens beneath these rainbow sheets? This is Manila after all, and everybody’s down to get straight-up freaky. Some went loco and some were naloko. Either way, the stories of the country’s gay cuties, fuccbois, and collateral damage (lol me)  are about to be told.

We already know about BJ Pascual and Tim Yap’s happily ever afters with their respective baes. But not everybody ends up with their DJ crush after a night out. We know #LoveWins but let’s see how it goes for these stories we’ve been told. (And no, judgers, these stories aren’t all mine.)

A hoe is not a hoe is not a hoe

Straight to the point, I was done with being a hoe and I was desperate. I wanted to see how long I could go without banging this guy I just met. Hindi ata ‘yun yung gusto niya. So I blew him in a cab (which you should NOT do! LOL), stopped midway, and left him with blue balls as well as several crazy text messages. Call me psycho central.

Verdict: #LoveDoesntWin

Isn’t it easy to forget?

I found out that my boyfriend at the time was cheating on me. I mean, I should’ve known given his history. I asked him about it, seeing if he would tell me the truth but he denied it all. I pulled out some pictures of him and another guy eating each other’s faces. All he had to say was “Oh.. oo nga, I cheated pala”. The answer was so bad but I laughed.

Verdict: #LoveDoesntWin

Just a snake, lurking in the sheets

I started crushing on this junior when I was a freshman. Turns out this freshy’s got some game. One year later and I was grinding up on him in Pool Club before he invited me over. He’d asked someone to join us for a threesome, and Manila being what it is, the guy he invited was my gym instructor that I also crushed on. That was probably the best night of my life.

Verdict: #LoveWins!

Not a game of jak and poy

One of my issues with Manila is that it’s small. It’s insanely small. If you think social circles run tight, imagine how it is for the gays. On a night out with this guy I found pretty damn cute, I found this OTHER guy (who I also slept with) sneaking up to him and looking to hook up. We ended up playing ~rock, paper, scissors~ over the cutie. I still mourn that loss today.

Verdict: #LoveDoesntWin

Jailed up in the friend zone

It sucks to get friendzoned. Even worse to get f*ckbuddy-zoned. I know the deal was no feelings, but damn I got into him. He just got me. He had that cute Filipino wit paired with the perfect touch of sarcastic douchebaggery. I cut him off for a while to save myself the pain, but one night we saw each other at Revel, had makeup sex, and now we’re friends again. It’s a happy ending in my books.

Verdict: #LoveWins?

Perfectly reformed

My sex count is high. So high, people thought I’d never find my forever because I can’t commit. Well surprise bitch, he’s here. We tell people we met somewhere cool but in reality we met on Tinder, had a bang, and got along. But at LEAST I didn’t find him on Grindr with a #Masc4Masc label, bless my soul. Fingers crossed he can tolerate my crazy.

Verdict: #LoveWins!

When you really look at these stories, you’ll realise they’re pretty much just like straight ones and there isn’t much of a difference. If I could channel my powers into creating #ESCAPEscores for St. Luke’s gift cards, I totally would. But those don’t exist. Don’t be silly, wrap your willy! Get tested, get laid, and get ready to tell us your stories. Drop them down in the comments section below!