Deep within the Colorado desert lies a magical oasis of music, alcohol, drugs and fleeting fashion trends. It’s a place where you can literally rub shoulders with celebs because everybody dresses the same and you literally can’t tell the difference anymore. Coachella, aka the closest thing to Woodstock this generation is going to get, is a yearly music festival that boasts some of the hottest acts in the music industry—that is if people actually went for the music, which is a joke in itself.
From a platinum blonde Katy Perry to the Coachella queen herself Vanessa Hudgens, here’s a roundup of all the most noteworthy looks at Coachella’s first weekend.
A crochet crop top, shorts, kimono, fringe boots and sun hat for Coachella? Groundbreaking. It’s a cute get up, but when five hundred other girls are wearing the same thing, it’s a little easy to get lost in the crowd. Surely the queen of Urban Outfitters hipsters can do much better?
Verdict: Slay anyway. Vanessa could wear a garbage bag and still look pretty.
Think you’ve seen the last of Rihanna’s crystal covered tits? Think again. Decked out in a skintight crystal suit, denim cutoffs, a Gucci top and a new wig, Rihanna is heating up the Indio desert one nip slip at a time. Lord Farquaad is shook.
Verdict: S L A Y.
There’s at least one person in America that acknowledges that climate change exists, and he isn’t even American. Clearly taking style cues off the life vests from the Titanic, Champagne Papi prepared himself for a flash flood by sporting a bright yellow vest you can spot all the way from Canada.
Verdict: Unfortunately, yellow is not his color. Nay.
*listens to Joanne once*
Verdict: Just like that god awful Pepsi commercial, nay.
Kylie’s big Coachella gimmick? Dyeing her hair to a color that would give any college graduate war flashbacks: HIGHLIGHTER YELLOW. I am triggered by this photo. Also, what is going on with Kylie’s butt? If it gets any bigger they’ll have to give her a parking ticket every time she sits down.
Verdict: Meh she looks good. Slay.
Nobody under the age of 50 should be caught dead with an oversized orange fanny pack, even if you are a fashion killa. Also, a ski mask in the middle of the Colorado desert???
Verdict: It’s gonna be a nay.
If the intent was to look like a sexy mechanic, I think she nailed it.
Is it me or is Katy Perry starting to look a lot like Miley Cyrus but with huge boobs? More importantly, is a platinum blonde pixie cut the official breakup cut of the decade??? Lowkey miss her black hair.
Verdict: I can’t decide if I like it or hate it? Meh.
I got so bored looking at this outfit I fell asleep. It’s 10AM.
Joe Jonas & DNCE
I want to hate it but I don’t??? Honestly when they’re all standing next to each other like this it’s obvious they’re all in the same band. A hundred years later and he’s still the hottest Jonas brother imo.
Verdict: Slay me, Joe.
Talented. Brilliant. Incredible. Amazing. Show stopping. Spectacular. Never the same. Totally unique. Completely not ever been done before. Plus it’s black so it’s an instant yes from moi.
Verdict: Slay, Mother Monster.
I love mesh and black so I’m going to be a little biased and say I’m diggin this ~lewk~. Wearing knee-high boots is always tricky because you can tip into hoe territory real quick, but Hailee keeps it fashun. I want those boots, damn it.
Verdict: Slay, honey.
Selena Gomez & The Weeknd
We all know how hot Selena Gomez looked in her recent Vogue editorial, so you can only imagine our surprise when she showed up in something that looked like it belonged to her abuela in the 60s. The checkered shirt on The Weeknd isn’t anything noteworthy either, but they do look cute together.
Verdict: They made Bella Hadid jump off a plane in Dubai to forget they exist. I think that alone warrants a slay.