Filipino moms are the best. If you grew up around one, you would have probably been acquainted with the great pleasure of being called from your room just to give her something she could have reached for herself. If you dare protest, brace yourself to have a flying tsinelas chucked in your direction. To celebrate all the amazing moms out there, here’s a few mom one-liners every Filipino kid has heard from their own mom:
“Kumain ka na ba?”
Translation: Eat. Now.
Do not mistake this for a question. She isn’t asking you if you’ve eaten, she’s telling you you’re eating what she made regardless of whether or not you’re hungry—and there’s nothing you can do about it.
Translation: You’re getting fat. Here, eat some more.
Moms will tell you you’re gaining weight and make no efforts to decrease the amount of rice they give you at dinner. Why? Because they can.
*points at anything with her lips*
Translation: Ayun oh.
Because here in the Philippines, people point with their lips instead of their fingers. Why? Because it takes less effort, duh.
“Close the lights/aircon/TV!!!!!”
Translation: Turn *insert appliance here* off.
Turn it off because the Meralco bill is too high and it’s all your fault. Sure, the proper way to say it is “turn it off” but is it worth getting your ass beat?
“Saan ka nanaman pupunta?”
Translation: You think you’re actually getting out of this house? Nah, fam.
Another common mom saying that shouldn’t be mistaken for a question. Unless you can come up with a really good lie or make a futile effort to clean the house before you go, there’s no getting out.
“Nasaan ka na?”
Translation: If you’re not home by 12MN, you better not show your face again.
If you’re out with your mates at 2AM and your mom sends you this text, say goodbye to your social life. Combine that with 10 missed calls and you might as well plan your funeral on the way home because you. are. Dead. AF.
Translation: Try me, hoe.
So you decide to come home and your mom concludes the first installment of her hour-long sermon with this, which basically means “I dare you to say something while I’m yelling at you.” Pro tip: IT’S A TRAP!!!
“Aba, sumasagot ka pa ha???”
Translation: Bitch you thought!!!!
Just kidding, she doesn’t care what you have to say. RIP.
Every Filipino mom says this. We’re not sure what it means either.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the awesome moms out there!